You will receive an envelope with odd markings, a strange odor and no return address. When you open it, using your salad tongs and a gas mask, you will find a cryptic note asking you to a rendezvous at your favorite local pub at 7 pm the following Friday. After debating the prospects of meeting a total stranger for an unknown purpose, your curiosity will win out and you will decide to go. The instructions in the note will require that you wear the latest new fashion "Bulge Jeans" to assist in identification. On the day of your meeting, all eyes will be on you as you enter the pub and sit at the bar. You will be approached by several amorous construction workers before your mysterious contact finally appears. On the stroke of seven, the end of Happy Hour, a raven-haired, full-lipped nurse in skin-tight starched white uniform and squeaking sensible shoes will tap you on the shoulder. As you turn around she will hand you an envelope addressed to the President of the United States. You will be puzzled but she will insist that it is of utmost importance to national security that you deliver this vital information directly and immediately. You will argue that you have no idea how to accomplish this. She will ignore you, turn, and leave. You will take the envelope to your local FBI office and explain the circumstances. They will arrest you on suspicion of sedition. As you are led into the holding tank, you will wish you were wearing a different pair of pants.