On a leisurely Sunday morning you will finish your coffee while perusing the newspaper. In the classifieds you will circle an ad for an estate sale that sounds intriguing. The estate you will discover, belongs to a former mercenary soldier who has recently died, having lost a great deal of blood in the unfortunate severing of his arm in a gruesome escalator accident. When you arrive at the estate sale you will spot a beautiful old leather trunk with several elaborate brass locks. The trunk will be quite heavy. Though you will be unable to open the trunk, you will purchase it and strap it to the roof of your car. You will bring the trunk inside and spend several weeks diligently trying to pick the lock, not wanting to damage the elegant craftsmanship. Finally the lock will pop open. Inside you will be startled to discover a cache of seven ancient petrified Christmas fruitcakes, each with a single bite mark. Underneath the fruitcakes you will find a moth-eaten buffalo robe, and wrapped in its malodorous folds and packaged in several layers of moist saran wrap, the former owners' arm, somewhat shredded from its stinging encounter with the escalator. You will sell the arm on eBay for $8753.00 as a religious relic.