You will wake up on a foggy morning and step outside to fetch the morning paper. As your eyes adjust to the gloom, you will notice an amorphous, whitish-yellowish blob on the ground. With a stick you will probe it gently and discern two slugs affixed to each other in an apparent embrace, pulsating and dripping with slime. In the morning light, you will notice hundreds more of these amorous slugs on the ground, breeding baby slugs. Forgetting the paper, you will dash back inside, carefully avoiding the viscous creatures. Googling this phenomenon on your laptop, you will learn that gastropod mollusks in your area are in a hyper-sexualized procreating mode, caused by relative humidity patterns and climate change. You will call the EPA and they will send a hazardous waste team who will quarantine the area. You will move to Canada.